The Liar, The Snitch and The Dress Robe
by Padfoot4President
Summary: When Harry starts hating the problems in his life caused by Lord Voldemort he decides to play a few pranks to liven up Hogwarts.. Set during OoP


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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_**The Liar, The Snitch and The Dress robe**_

**Chapter 1**** - The Windbreaker**

In the dead of night, five boys slept in their four-poster beds, the only light coming from the silvery full moon, cutting through the darkness like a shining blade. Nothing stirred, and not a noise came from any of the rooms inhabitants. One boy lay on his back, hands over his chest. His eyes were moving rapidly underneath their lids. The boy moved in his sleep, fighting off some invisible adversary when he knocked his glasses down onto the floor. As they hit the floor he awoke, raising one hand to his lightning shaped scar on his forehead and rubbed it tenderly. He was worried about himself, and his friends. He wished that he could just relax and have fun for once, instead of worrying about Lord Voldemort all the time. As he looked at the other boys in the room he smiled, then he lay back down and closed his eyes. All of a sudden, a loud sound broke the deathly silence:

_Pfffffffft-_

It sounded like a balloon going off. At once three of the boys woke up.

'Wassat?' said the red-head. He looked around, his eyes half closed, yawning. Then his nostrils flared, his eyes were wide open and he covered his mouth.

'Cor blimey! Who the hell dunnat? By Merlin's saggy jockstrap, who the hell did that?'

'Well it wasn't me!' exclaimed another boy, gagging slightly as he lit the lamps hanging from the walls, 'My buttocks has never been the same since Ginny hit me with that Permanent Sticking Charm right in the arse!'

'Neville!!!' shouted another boy, 'Was that you? Get up you flabby, stinking lug!'

'Wha-?' said a quite stout boy whilst being woken up by the other boys. He looked around, confused. Apparently he hadn't heard the noise.

'Was it you who let off that ripper?' said the boy again, growing impatient. He waved his hand through the air like a fan, to get the smell as far as possible away from himself.

'What, no, what's a ripper?' Neville replied, his eyes half-open; he was still asleep.

'A fart you twat!! DID YOU FART?'

'No, it wasn't me! I can't smell anything anyway…' His nose was blocked due to a Bat-Bogey Hex that backfired earlier that day.

'Of course you can't, you were the one who let 'er rip! It's simple chemistry. The one who farted can't smell it, a sorta immunity or something,' said Dean Thomas.

'But…,' said Neville, 'what's chemistry?'

'It's a type of Muggle Potions, it involves…why am I explaining this to you, you just farted!'

'I swear on my Gran's moth-eaten, vulture-topped hat that I didn't!'

'Prove it!'

'How?'

'I've got a way,' Seamus piped up.

Dean and Seamus looked at each other and grinned. They whispered and then pointed their wands at Neville.

'Ready, Dean?' asked one.

'As ready as I'll ever be, Seamus,' replied the other. They lifted their wands up and shouted '_R__etroago!_'

There was a whoosh, the air around them gusted and was directed right up Neville's anus. It flew like an arrow towards him, cutting through the air. With a yelp, Neville held his arse and flew into the air. The two boys cracked themselves up laughing. When Neville finally came back down he was as white as a sheet.

'What did you guys just do?'

'We just sent the fart right back up your arse again! We told you that you were lying!' Dean shouted over Seamus' hysterical laughter. Neville looked horrified.

'But…' Neville stammered.

'You're a bloody liar Neville,'

'But I didn't!'

'Well if you didn't how come the spell went to you?'

'I don't know, maybe you did it wrong,'

'Why do you keep denying it?' Seamus asked who had finally stopped laughing.

'Cause I didn't do it! Don't you guys see that?' Neville shouted.

'Shh…you'll wake Harry….' Ron said looking in Harry's direction. He appeared fast asleep.

'Yeah c'mon…fun's over,' Dean said, pushing Seamus, who was putting out the lights, off to his own bed. Neville still sat upright, disbelieving that the last 10 minutes had happened.

_Why don't they believe me? I didn't do it…_Neville thought as he clambered into bed.

_I wonder who really did it… _He closed his eyes. Then, out of the blue:

"NEVILLE!!!'

'What now?'

'Did you do that? Cause that's DISGUSTING!'

'No it wasn't me!'

'Don't lie to us Neville,'

'I'm not!' shouted Neville, squinting as the room illuminated by wandlight. As he looked around he saw that Ron, Seamus and Dean all had used Bubble-Head Charms and their faces were magnified tenfold, though they all were glaring at Neville.

'Why would I lie?' Neville asked, looking at Dean. Dean glared at him.

'I don't know Neville, why did you fart? You know what 'Silent-bu-Deadlys' are like, they reek! Why did you have to fart?!' Dean answered.

'What? That-I-but…' Neville stammered again. He couldn't believe this was happening twice in one night.

'I think we should teach him a lesson,' said Dean, with a glint in his eyes,

'S_empiternus adhaereo!'_

Neville grabbed his buttocks again as the Permanent-Sticking Charm hit its mark. His cheeks stuck together at the crack, unable to part, contrary to the straining and groaning of a worried Neville.

'That should sort things out,' grumbled Dean, with a hint of satisfaction in his voice. He turned over and closed his eyes. Ron shrugged his shoulders and went to sleep too. Seamus muttered '_Nox,' _and pulled the blankets over his head. Neville was left trying to pry his buttocks open with his hands, not even trusting his abilities to remove the charm through magic. In the end he gave up and went to sleep with images of himself blowing up like a balloon filled with gas that had no way to escape. He shuddered as he slept.

When at last everybody had their eyes closed, a tiny smirk appeared on Harry's face as he placed his wand back on his bedside table. He fixed his pants up, letting the revolting air out of them and rolled to his side. Sometimes his friends were way too gullible.


End file.
